Dec 31st 2019!

End of a year.   End of a decade!

I can't even remember everything that has happened this last year let alone the last 10 years!   
I do know this has been a rough year mentally for me.   Many changes at work leading to high levels of stress.

I look back at the picture above and just wonder where it all went wrong.   I was so proud of myself.  I lost 65 pounds and had kept it off for 3-4 years.   

I switched jobs and started sitting at a desk 40 hrs a week vs working physically at my job for 12 hours a day.     Slowly the weight all came back on and here I am....Last day of the year and I am 2lbs heavier than I was when I started 7 years ago.

I have decided that I will not let this get me down.   I turned 40 and losing the weight seems so much harder.   That is no longer an excuse.   I will do my best and control what I can and see what happens.   

I plan to run a couple of 1/2 marathons this year and in order to do that I need to get healthier.     I just want to be happy.   That is all we can hope for right!

So the advice I can give is treat ourselves like we treat our pets.   Feed ourselves, get the health care we need and just try to be the best version of ourselves.

Here is to 2020 and another 10 years!

Running

Okay so the title of this is running not sure if that's exactly what I do these days I call myself too fat to fit mom because that's what I was trying to do instead over the last few years I've actually just gain more weight which has been hard and it's been very hard on the running I'm sitting here waiting to run my 4th annual Houdini 10K in Appleton Wisconsin which is an absolutely awesome race fun to run lots of people great time at the end and it's one thing I do with my sister every year I'm very excited for it and I'm sitting here waiting and waiting in anticipation of how this one's going to go I've been running probably for a boat not a real seven or eight years now and this is the most unprepared I have ever been for a race in my life the most they ran in the last year it's probably been about 3 miles and that's just running walking intervals today I have to run 6.14 miles and it's definitely going to be intervals and it's going to be tough getting my weight down 269 pounds from 235 was an amazing feeling but now gaining back up to being 232 lb has made running extremely difficult hard on my body but yet I want to keep doing it so I don't know maybe the blog should be changed from fat to fit mom to just fat Runner
I'll keep running I just may have to take it easier to more intervals and maybe run less because of how hard it is on my body but someday I hope that the wait will start coming back off again so that I can enjoy longer runs like I used to so here I am waiting and cannot wait to go it should be a good time I'll check back in after to let everyone know how it went just want you to know that it doesn't matter your size shape or weight you can do whatever you want to do as long as you are happy with it