07/17/2017
Well, here I am again. Rock bottom? I don't know. I hope to gosh this is. 201.6!!! Seriously. I feel so horrible. I am so bloated and everything is tight on me...yet I continue to make poor food choices. What was it in me in the past that drove me to do so well? I lost 60 pounds and felt fabulous. Now I am depressed and tired all the time. Angry at myself. And besides all of that I have nothing to wear. I could lose 20-25 pounds and have an entirely new wardrobe again. What needs to happen for me to get back in that mindset. I love to work out? I love to cook? I just work out and keeping eating crap. I like food way too much, however these days I am not liking how it makes me feel. I once again had myself a pity party this morning. I was not going to go work out at my TRX class because I am certain they can see the weight gain. well come on! I gained 20 pounds since knowing them guys. They will have to see it for sure. I left my work out clothes at home and I was not going to work out. Brought my shoes...maybe I will go for a little walk. Well, God was looking over me... I messaged my instructor to let her know I would not be at class. She of course just asked if everything was ok. I told her that I am fine no worries. Just having a bad day. She is an angel. she offered me workout clothes if I would come to class. I wasn't sure. I was feeling fat and stupid and embarrassed. She kept on knowing that it was for the best for me. She confided in me as well and we decided to make a plan. Thank you so much for friends like this in my life. She opened my eyes. Her and I are going to work on this together. No diets or get slim quick ideas. Healthy living...not just with my body but my mind. Feeling that I have someone on my side really helps. So please, if you ever feel alone, reach out, speak up, there are others out there and together we can be happy and healthy!
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